The Break Up Series
by Averil
Summary: Life after the break up. An Addison character study. Chapter summary: Friendship, close friendship, turns so easily into something else.
1. Unconvincing

The Break Up Series   
Summary: With his neatly pressed pants and his crooked bow tie.  
Pairing: None. 

Unconvincing 

Derek had never really worked out how to be, in their relationship, convincing. Actually for a doctor he was pathetically unconvincing.

_I love you._

He held her hands on their wedding day, smiles and all, and had said, three times in a row, _I Love You_. The actual problem, she knew, wasn't that Derek didn't love her and it wasn't even that he didn't love her enough, because really, a tiny bit of love would have been more than enough for her. It was that he didn't really understand love.

If she had known on their wedding day that it would take him eleven years to work out what love really was, what it meant, then she liked to think she would have left him standing at the altar. With his neatly pressed pants and his crooked bow tie. Knowing that she could move on and that he would survive.

But it had been to long now, too long for her to move on. Yet long enough for him to survive it seemed.

They had walked into the hospital once, holding hands, and they weren't getting married or anything. But they were something. Tiny, untouchable beings of love, entirely convinced of the fact they had something.

She wished them the worst.


	2. Confront

**The Break Up Series**

Life after the breakup. An Addison character study.  
Summary: _"I don't want to be my mother, not really. Not in that way."_  
Pairing: None (maybe, maybe Addison/Meredith subtext) 

* * *

_**Confront**_

"Is this some kind of confrontation?" Addison asked, after opening her hotel door to find Meredith standing there – with flowers. "Or has someone died?"

"No, no," Meredith's eyes darted past the door into the room. "No confrontation, no one dead."

"No Mark in my room either." Addison said, purposely moving to stand in the doorway, effectively blocking the room.

"I wasn't – Sorry." Meredith blew some hair out of her face and thrust the flowers at Addison; a tulip fell from the bunch. "Damn," Meredith swore, blending to pick it up.

Addison held the bunch of flowers with one hand and with the other rubbed at her forehead.

"My mother used to give my father flowers, whenever things were tense between them, before things got really tense, er, he liked flowers, you see and well," Meredith gave a dry chuckle. "Well, I guess it was actually about her taking the stereotypical men's role. She liked doing that, showing she was better than any old woman and… I ramble. I'm sorry."

Addison sighed, "Grey-"

"- No." Meredith interrupted, "I'm sorry."

"Oh," Addison swallowed. "I'm not going to invite you in, and I'm only in a dressing gown and I'm getting cold and mostly, other reasons aside, I'd simply like you to go."

Meredith clasped and unclasped her hands, "I understand."

Addison laughed, "No, you really don't."

Meredith took a step back before pausing. "I don't want to be my mother, not really. Not in that way."

Addison looked at the flowers in her hand, "Are you really sure about that Grey?"

Meredith turned and left, she didn't look back.

* * *

If there is a slight slashy feel to this it was intentional, if there isn't well then don't worry. But, you know, this series is strange. Who knows where it will go. Also, I cannot stand writing Meredith, I think she's very difficult to write so I hope I did her justice. 


	3. Couple

**The Break Up Series**  
Summary: _Once everything was done, he dressed._  
Pairing: None.

* * *

_**Couple**_

They kissed and kissed and kissed like they were drowning, starving. Wanting and needing and so normal, and they kissed like normal wasn't always bad.

Addison had her hair tied in a loose bun, strands curling down her neck. His fingers were digging into her breasts, her stomach, her legs and, finally, her thighs. He was everywhere and everything like always.

"I've missed this," she mouthed - or he did - onto hot skin. Sharing everything, every breath and every gasp and every bit of pain.

Her mouth fought his and they kissed again and she thought, he knows how to love now. He finally gets it. And it wasn't for her, but it didn't matter. He understood.

Once everything was done, he dressed. She stayed tangled, now, in the bed sheets. His eyes search the room, as if looking for something. Good or bad, she prefers not to guess.

"I love Meredith," he says.

She smiles, "I know. Congratulations."

"This can't happen again," he glares at her before looking at the newly signed divorce papers on the table.

She continues to smile even as he slams her hotel door.

tbc...


	4. Friendship

The Break Up Series  
Life after the breakup. An Addison character study.  
Pairing: Addison/Mark (kind of)  
Beta'd by seventhave, thanks.

_**  
**_

_**Friendship**_

Mark and her had a weird kind of relationship, kind of friendship … kind of love. It was difficult to pinpoint exactly what they were. When she had first met Derek, all sunshine and smiles, Mark had been the best friend she had to put up with. When she and Derek had married, he'd been the best man. When Derek started ignoring her - starting seeing her yet not seeing her, acting like she was just another person on the street and not his wife - Mark had been a friend.

Friendship, close friendship, turns so easily into something else.

She didn't remember a lot of what their affair was like, remembers vaguely sneaked kisses and gropes until that night … and less thought about that the better. What she did remember, in clear detail, were his words.

You're so beautiful.

You're an amazing woman.

I Love You.

There had been hundreds of words, and what made her fall for them wasn't that they were so kind but that they were so in love with her, Mark was so in love with her. A love she knew Derek would never be able to handle.

She loved Mark.

He was her best friend. She just really didn't know what friends were anymore. She figured they were where you went when you really needed help, needed something and she always went to Mark.

She couldn't say whether she regretted that or not. 


End file.
